How to deal with a difficult coworker without making it worse
Most advice about difficult coworkers is either "just talk to them" or "just ignore it", and neither is much use when you are the one sitting across from them five days a week.
What actually helps is being specific about what kind of difficult you are dealing with, because a chronically late collaborator, a credit-taker, and someone who is quietly undermining you all need different responses.
Name what is actually happening
Vague frustration is hard to act on. "They are difficult" covers everything from a communication mismatch to real workplace misconduct, and the right response is different for each.
Ask yourself: is this a style clash, where you would both describe the friction differently, or is this a pattern where they get something at your expense, credit, time, standing, and know it?
Style clashes usually resolve with a direct conversation. Patterns of taking something from you usually need a paper trail and, eventually, someone above you both.
When it is worth a direct conversation
Most workplace friction is solvable with one honest, unemotional conversation that almost nobody has, because it feels confrontational to even request it.
Ask for it plainly: "Do you have ten minutes? I wanted to talk through how we are working together." Not over Slack, and not ambushed into another meeting.
State the specific behaviour, its effect, and the ask, in that order. "When changes get made to the doc without a note, I lose time figuring out what shifted. Could we flag edits in the thread?" This works far better than "you never communicate".
Expect the first reaction to be mildly defensive. Stay on the behaviour, not the character. "I am not saying you are careless, I am saying this specific thing is costing me time."
Try this
Name the behaviour and its effect, not the person's character. "This is costing me time" lands; "you never think of anyone else" does not.
When someone takes credit for your work
This one needs to be addressed quickly, calmly, and in view of others, because silence is read as agreement.
In the moment, in the meeting itself: "Thanks for building on that, to add context, that approach came out of the analysis I did last week." No accusation, just the record corrected in real time.
Afterwards, privately: "I noticed my work got presented as the team's general direction without it being clear it started with me. I would appreciate it being credited going forward." Calm, factual, and it puts them on notice that you noticed.
If it keeps happening after that conversation, start putting your work in writing, with timestamps, before meetings, so the record exists independent of who speaks first in the room.
When it crosses into something worse
Some things are not a style clash and should not be handled as one: bullying, harassment, discrimination, or a pattern designed to make you look incompetent.
The instinct to handle it yourself, to avoid seeming difficult, is exactly what lets a genuine problem continue unaddressed. Document everything, dates, what was said, who else was present, and involve HR or your manager sooner rather than after months of trying to manage it solo.
You do not need to have "tried everything" first to be allowed to escalate something that is genuinely affecting your work or wellbeing.
You do not need to have tried everything yourself first to be allowed to involve someone else.
Protecting yourself day to day
While you sort out the bigger picture, small habits reduce the daily cost: put agreements in writing after verbal conversations, keep your interactions with this person brief and task focused, and do not vent about them to people who might repeat it.
It is also fine to simply reduce unnecessary contact where you can, choosing which meetings need you there and which do not, without making it a visible standoff.
Rehearse the conversation
If you keep rehearsing this in the shower and never actually having it, that is usually a sign the wording is the barrier, not the situation.
Our Conversation Simulator will play a defensive coworker who deflects and minimises, so you can find language that holds steady without escalating, before you say it for real.
Common questions
Should I just ignore a difficult coworker?
For minor style differences, sometimes. For a repeated pattern that costs you time, credit or standing, ignoring it usually lets it continue. A direct, specific, unemotional conversation resolves more of these than people expect.
What if I talk to them and nothing changes?
Put agreements in writing after the conversation, and start documenting specific incidents with dates. If the pattern continues, involve your manager or HR; you do not need to have exhausted every option yourself first.
How do I stop someone from taking credit for my work?
Correct the record calmly in the moment it happens, then have a private, factual conversation afterwards. If it recurs, put your work in writing with timestamps before meetings so the record exists independent of who speaks first.
When should I involve HR?
When the issue is bullying, harassment, discrimination, or a repeated pattern that is genuinely affecting your work or wellbeing, not only after you have exhausted every other option. Document dates, specifics and witnesses beforehand.
Related guides
Why talking helps, and why so many of us stay silent
What silence costs, what naming a feeling actually does, and how to start when you have no idea what to say.
How to apologise properly, when you actually got it wrong
Why most apologies make things worse, what a real one contains, and scripts you can adapt tonight.
When your teenager will not talk to you
Why "how was your day" never works, what withdrawal usually means, and openings that get further.